Using Stories to
Build Rapport and Credibility
You will agree with me that people first need to buy you before they buy your product, service or idea. The question is: Do they buy your character or your credentials? The answer surely is character. As Shawn Callahan says, ‘Character always trumps credentials.’ Imagine you are the local branch manager of a large multinational bank. I have just walked into your cabin looking for a working capital loan for my firm. I shake hands with you and say hello. I then sit down and launch into . . .
Hi, my name is Indranil Chakraborty and I am the founder of StoryWorks. After completing my graduation in computer science and engineering at Jadavpur University in Kolkata, I did my postgraduation in management at the Indian Institute of Management Lucknow. I then joined . . .
Then I moved to retail . . . After that I worked . . . (I run through a mini version of my curriculum vitae [CV]).
After twenty-one years of corporate life, I started StoryWorks in 2013. I have been working very hard at evangelizing the concept of business storytelling across large corporates in this country. I am very passionate about the work I do and I have been meeting as many people as I can to grow this business. I’m confident that I have all that it takes to survive in an unstructured environment and grow a start-up. I’m certain that within the next few years StoryWorks will be one of the leading names in communication consulting in the country. In order to help us with our growing need for working capital, I am here to request a working capital loan.
With that, I hand over the request form I had filled. How likely would you be to form an opinion about me based on everything I claimed to be—hard-working, networked, able to work in an unstructured environment, possessing an entrepreneurial drive and passion? Chances are that you would be skeptical and may have even stifled a yawn or two. After all, we have been ‘sold’ so many times that assertions are no longer credible. So you did get a litany of my credentials, but you got no real insight into my character.
Now imagine that you are the same bank manager, but instead of starting with my mini-CV-based introduction followed by assertions, I start like this:
Hi, my name is Indranil Chakraborty and I was born in Shillong, in the north-east of the country, to a middle-class family. Somehow, my parents managed to put me into a premier educational institute where almost all my classmates were from more affluent families than mine. And they always had more money to spend at the tuck shop—the canteen. So, when I was in class III, I started a comics circulating library, that too with borrowed comics, and I did make a bit of money. Not as much as they had but much more than I ever had before. This excited me a lot and, ever since, doing something different to achieve a goal has always been very motivating. After finishing my schooling, I went to Jadavpur University in Kolkata to study computer science and engineering . . .
I then continue on my CV-based journey with another example or two about my passion for doing things on my own. The 16–17-second diversion about my comics’ circulating library would have allowed you, the bank manager, to infer that I may have entrepreneurial skills, something that wouldn’t have been possible had I claimed to possess that trait. And when you come to your own conclusion about this, you will value that much more than a close confidant telling you about my
entrepreneurial skills.
By sharing small stories from my life, I can help my listeners understand what makes me tick and see if those character traits resonate with their own values and beliefs. That is when they start forming a bond. That is what we call a connection story.
Forming a bond is not only important when I am looking to convince you to give me a loan, but it is as important when as a speaker or presenter, you are looking to grab the attention of your audience. After you gain the listeners’ trust, they are more open to listening to your pitch.
Simon Sinek, the author of Start with Why and the speaker of one of the most viewed TED talks ever,1 says, ‘People don’t buy what you do, people buy why you do it.’ When we repeatedly share our why, we attract people who believe in what we believe, and when that happens trust emerges.
Will one story be enough to convince my listeners about a certain character trait? Surprisingly, it will. I have had over 2000 people try this at workshops and events, and it has always worked. This is because as far as our values and beliefs are concerned, people generally expect that if they see someone display a value once, that person would most likely display it all the time. Stephen Denning, the author of The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling,2 calls it ‘the fractal nature of identifying
stories. Fractal is a mathematical term that describes a curve or geometrical figure, each part of which has the same statistical character as the whole.
I am often asked whether the connection story necessarily needs to be a defining moment in one’s life. My answer is no, it need not be. Because of our consistency of behavior around core values and beliefs, even a seemingly trivial incident can make the listener infer a lot about our character. You would have seen this in my ‘comics’ circulating library example.
Here is another example from a story often told by Michael Dell, the founder of Dell, from when he was twelve years old:
The father of my best friend was a pretty avid stamp collector, so now naturally my friend and I wanted to collect stamps too. To fund my interest in stamps, I got a job as a water boy in a Chinese restaurant two blocks from my house. I started reading stamp journals just for fun, and soon began noticing that prices were rising. Before long, my interest in stamps began to shift from the joy of
collecting to the idea that there was something here that my mother, a stockbroker, would have termed a commercial opportunity . . .
I was about to embark upon one of my first business ventures. First, I got a bunch of people in the
neighborhood to consign their stamps to me. Then I advertised ‘Dell’s Stamps’ in Linn’s Stamp Journal, the trade journal of the day. And then I typed, with one finger, a twelve-page catalog. . . and mailed it out. Much to my surprise, I made $2000. And I learned an early, powerful lesson about the rewards of eliminating the middleman. I also learned that if you’ve got a good idea, it pays to do
something about it.
We all know about Michael Dell’s revolutionary direct-to-consumer success with personal computers and laptops. From the above incident, one can infer a lot about Dell’s character.
He was entrepreneurial, ambitious, aggressive and a risk taker—something we may not have believed had he just asserted that he had those traits. Since different character traits are required to be amplified under different circumstances, we need different connection stories. The bank manager needed to know that I had entrepreneurial abilities, a client might need to know that I am flexible, a team member might need to know that I will